Holiday card friendships
The beauty of keeping in touch once a year
I’m putting the finishing touches on my holiday cards right now. At this point I should just call them New Year cards because I generally start pulling them together in mid-December. That’s when the spirit hits me and I’m ready to dig in.
Much as I love sending holiday cards, in the past I dreaded the work and hand cramps that came with stuffing, addressing, sealing and stamping a hundred-plus envelopes. But now the whole thing feels soothing and important; a tangible way to connect in a world buzzing with electronic communication.
It’s not just the physicality of holiday cards I appreciate, it’s also their infrequency. Part of the appeal of texting a friend or liking a Facebook post is that it takes a second. I love me a good single-emoji text! But because they’re so quick, these electronic pings are more frequent. Again, lovely (don’t stop texting me!!), but tracking and responding on all the channels comes with a particular kind of demand on time and attention. I struggle to keep up. Unanswered texts aren’t just junk mail or random social media updates — these are people I know and love who reached out to me! — so the emotional stakes ratchet up, too.
This is why I love that holiday cards haven’t gone fully digital (yet). I love that in this day and age there’s still a socially-acceptable and meaningful way to be in touch once a year. I love getting a card from someone I haven’t seen or spoken to since the kids were little. Whether or not our paths or algorithms cross in the coming year, a card is evidence we remain part of each others’ lives. To me, that’s what’s matters most.
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NOTES OF NOTE
Some notes contain affiliate links. Here’s my policy.
I just reread Meditations for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman. It has only deepened my sense of calm and contentment, and I say that as one currently allergic to self-improvement and life optimization. Details at Amazon or Bookshop.org.
I baked this shortbread for a friend’s holiday party and it was a hit. I added a little orange flower water to get the dough to stick together, and I put it back in the oven a few times to get just the right level of light golden brown. NYT Cooking gift link
The holiday lights in our neighborhood are more sparkly and colorful than ever. I DIG IT. What’s delighting you right now?
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Thanks for reading Parent of Adults. I’m Asha Dornfest, a Portland, Oregon-based author & parent of two young adults, and this newsletter is my invitation to compare notes on life beyond the empty nest.
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Happy Hanukkah! I don't send cards any more (haven't since I divorced years ago), but I treasure the few I still receive from friends who know they won't get one from me. Something about giving without expectation of reciprocity feels so rare, and therefore so precious. So glad the last year brought me into your online world.
happy new year, Asha!