Parent of Adults is a newsletter about life after the kids grow up.
They grow up! I mean, we knew this would happen, right?
Of course we did. And it’s wonderful. It’s also… weird.
I’m Asha Dornfest, a longtime writer and Gen X parent of two young adults (25 and 22).
My kids adults are well on their way to independence, and I’m thrilled — for them and me. But, so far, “empty nesting” has proven to be way more than a transition.
It’s a whole new world.
I assumed after some awkward adjustment time I’d eventually arrive at a new normal. But I’m no longer sure “normal” exists. There’s definitely no “arrival.”
(Come to think of it, this is not unlike how I felt as a new parent.)
This isn’t a problem, exactly. My kids are ok, I’m ok, and life is good, at times heart-explodingly great. I’m grateful for all this growth and change but I’m also bewildered by it. It’s like learning to swim in a whirlpool.
Parent of Adults is my invitation to compare notes on this strange season of parenting and life.
Let’s keep each other company as we stumble along. I’m betting we’ll discover we were never alone.
What to expect when you’re expecting…this newsletter
Parent of Adults is more letter than news. Part bloggy personal narrative, part reality check, part open thread.
Publishing rhythm is regular-but-relaxed. New issues arrive weekly-ish, which works out to 3-4 newsletters per month.
Topics include parenting, self-care, marriage & partnership, friendship, personal (often humbling) growth, travel, supporting aging loved ones, maybe some recipes?, grounded activism, finding (or re-finding) purpose and fun, and links to stuff/people/writing I love.
Comments: At the end of each newsletter we meet in the comments to hang out, connect and share our observations, questions and discoveries.
More about me
I started out in the mid-90s writing tech how-to books (fun fact: I wrote Microsoft FrontPage For Dummies).
In 2005, I was the overwhelmed parent of two little kids. I launched my blog, Parent Hacks, as a way to swap worked-for-me tips with other parents.
I didn’t know then that my cohort of parenting bloggers would usher in a whole new era of advice and support. Parent Hacks grew into an award-winning blog and a thriving, generous community which I solo-moderated for over a decade.
That community inspired the book Parent Hacks: 134 Genius Shortcuts for Life with Kids (Workman, 2016), a compact, illustrated guidebook full of clever wisdom from actual parents.
In 2013, I co-wrote Minimalist Parenting: Enjoy Modern Family Life More By Doing Less (Routledge) with my friend Christine Koh. The ideas in that book led to our launching the Edit Your Life podcast with the idea that small, doable steps lead to big changes. We co-hosted 250+ episodes from 2016-2021, and the pod continues today as a solo show by Christine.
My husband, Rael, and I have lived in Portland, Oregon for over 20 years. We love it here and are also thinking about what our next chapter will look like. My dad died unexpectedly in 2020, weeks before pandemic lockdown, and my mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s the following year. This led her to relocate from her California home of 50 years to a retirement community near us.
Between empty nesting, grief, the pandemic, my kids’ high school- and college disruptions, various diagnoses, menopause, supporting my mom, and *looks around at the world* it’s … a lot.
Also: there’s beauty, laughter, and growth.
That’s the both/and of life. ⚖️ We’re managing it one day at a time.
Free vs. paid subscription
Free subscribers get…everything (this is a free newsletter). Comments are open to all readers for one week after publication. Archived posts move behind the paywall after a few months.
Paid subscribers get additional access as a thank you for supporting my work:
Unlimited access to comments
The full, unlocked archive
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Why pay when this newsletter is free?
Parent of Adults is a reader-supported publication. I think about “reader support” in two ways:
The financial support is straightforward. My work is paid for by readers. Paid subscriptions make it possible for me to earn an income while keeping the newsletter ad-free and accessible to everyone.
The reciprocity is priceless. Choosing a paid subscription is an offer of partnership, a pitching-in that says “I value this work and want to help you keep doing it.”
More ways to think about paid subscription:
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✨ If you enjoy my work or have found it helpful over the years, please consider a paid subscription of any length or level.✨
Paid subscription tiers
There are three paid tiers, all with the same benefits. Choose a recurring subscription for any length of time, or choose Single Payment for a “forever” paid subscription.
Monthly: $5/month, renews automatically each month
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Single Payment: $50 flat, one payment of $50 for “forever” paid benefits! No autorenewal! Credit card-friendly! Great value!
Cancel to revert to a free subscription whenever you like. I’m grateful for whatever level of support feels right for you.
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A gift subscription is a thoughtful way to mark a friend’s “parent of adults” milestone:
High school graduation
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