Parent of Adults is a newsletter about parenting adult children while still figuring out how to be an adult myself.

I’M ASHA DORNFEST, a writer and Gen X parent of two. My kids adults (26 and 22) are on their way to independence and I’m thrilled — for them and me. But, so far, going from parenting kids to parenting adults has been more than just a transition.

It’s a whole new world.

I didn’t expect it to be easy. I figured there’d be bumps in the road and it would take time to settle into a new normal. But I’m no longer sure normal exists.

This isn’t a problem, exactly. My kids are mostly ok; so am I. It’s just that the scale of change is daunting, like learning to swim in a whirlpool.

Parent of Adults is my invitation to compare notes on this strange season of parenting and life.

I’ll share how it’s going for me and I’d love to hear how it’s going for you. I’m hoping we’ll discover we’re not alone in our challenges and joys, and we never were. After all, the empty nest is only beginning.

What to expect when you’re expecting…this newsletter

Parent of Adults is less news and more letter. Part bloggy personal narrative, part casual community hangout, part reality check.

Topics

Parenting young adults, self-care, marriage & partnership, friendship, personal (often humbling) growth, travel, health, supporting elders, maybe some recipes?, culture, grounded activism, finding (or re-finding) purpose and fun, and links to stuff/people/writing I love.

Comments

Let’s be honest, the comments are the whole reason I write this newsletter. I welcome (ok, EAGERLY AWAIT!!) your stories, observations, questions, discoveries, frustrations, and tips. I’d love for this to become a place you can count on for good conversation.

Publishing rhythm

Expect 1-4 issues per month with breaks as needed. New issues arrive in your email inbox or, if you prefer, the Substack app.

Free vs. paid subscription

This is essentially a free newsletter with the option to support the work and/or ideals that go into it. Back issues move behind the paywall after a few months so there’s ample time to read and comment.

Supporters — see below for my definition of “support” — get full access to the archive as my thank you.

More about Asha Dornfest

I started out in the mid-90s writing tech books (fun fact: I wrote Microsoft FrontPage For Dummies).

By 2005, I was an overwhelmed and isolated parent of two little kids. I started a blog, Parent Hacks, as a way to connect with other parents and swap scrappy tips of the sort you only stumble on through experience. This was pre-social media and smartphones and before “life hack” was a widely-used phrase. Finding a community of like-minded parents online felt like magic.

As it happened, my timing was golden. My early-aughts cohort of parent bloggers pioneered a whole new form of community. Parent Hacks grew into an award-winning blog with over 4000 posts and a kind, engaged readership. I wrote and solo-moderated Parent Hacks for over a decade. It changed my life and career.

Books & Podcast

The blog inspired a book: Parent Hacks: 134 Genius Shortcuts for Life with Kids (Workman Publishing), a compact, illustrated guide full of clever, road-tested tips & wisdom.

I also co-wrote Minimalist Parenting: Enjoy Modern Family Life More By Doing Less (Bibliomotion) with my friend and thought partner Christine Koh. The ideas in that book eventually led us to launch the Edit Your Life podcast.

Christine and I co-hosted 250+ episodes from 2016-2021. I’ve since retired from podcasting, but Edit Your Life continues as a solo show by Christine.

Where I’m at right now

My husband, Rael, and I live in Portland, Oregon, in the house where we raised our kids. We love it here and we’re also laying the foundation for the next chapter of our life.

My dad died unexpectedly in 2020, weeks before the pandemic lockdown. My mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 2021. A couple months after my daughter left for college, I helped Mom sell her California home of 50+ years (my childhood home) and move into a senior community near us.

Between the empty nest transition, grief, pandemic disruption, menopause, supporting my mom and *looks around at the world* the last few years have been … a lot. But these years have also contained immense growth and joy. I try to hold it all, some days more gracefully than others.

Becoming a supporter

Parent of Adults is free because I want anyone to be able to join this conversation. I welcome reader support because making trusted spaces for community is my life’s work.

If you’re thinking about supporting my work, thank you. Here are two easy options:

1. Upgrade to a paid subscription for a month, a year, or ongoing

Paid subscriptions help me cover my costs without having to rely on ads, sponsors or extractive algorithm-driven platforms. Being an independent writer is surprisingly expensive (web hosting, subscription fees, etc.) so your support really helps.

I offer three paid terms: monthly, annual (at a 50% monthly discount), and Lifetime (a one-time payment for “forever” paid benefits). Choose a term that fits your budget, cancel whenever you see fit.

If you’d prefer to leave a one-time tip, I suggest signing up for a month or year of paid subscription and then cancelling it immediately. Your paid benefits will continue till the end of your chosen term at which time your subscription will automatically revert to free.

2. Share Parent of Adults with others

I refer to both paid subscribers and sharers as “supporters” because sharing my work is as helpful as paying for it, if not more. You are in the best position to help new readers find and, more importantly, trust this newsletter.

Look for Share and Restack buttons in every newsletter and use them often!

Referral Program

I’ve set up a referral program so frequent sharers can access the same benefits as paid subscribers.

Every time you click Share or Restack, your referrals count toward a subscription upgrade. Visit the leaderboard for details.

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Thanks for reading. Let’s stay in touch.