About - Parent of Adults

Parent of Adults is a newsletter about life after the kids grow up.

They grow up! I mean, we knew this would happen, right?

Of course we did. And it’s wonderful. It’s also… weird.

My ~~kids~~ adults have lived out of state for a few years — one’s a college senior and the other’s a college graduate.

I’m excited about their transition to independence — for them and me. But so far, empty nesting has proven to be way more than a transition.

It’s a whole new world.

I figured after some adjustment time I’d arrive at a new normal.

But it hasn’t really been like that. I’m no longer sure I’m headed toward normal or if normal even exists. I’m not even sure there’s such a thing as arrival. Just life in all its lifey-ness.

asphalt road between trees — Photo credit: Matt Foxx

(Come to think of it, it’s not unlike how I felt as a new parent.)

None of this is a problem. This version of freedom was never guaranteed, and I’m stunned by my good fortune. I’m also seeing a flashing❓where my priorities and identity used to be.

Parent of Adults is where I try to make sense of this strange new season in family life.

Every week or two, I send a dispatch describing what I’m seeing out here, beyond the empty nest.

You can expect essays about parenting, relationships, personal (often humbling) growth, travel, maybe some recipes, books, grounded activism, musings about culture and whatever else seems useful or enlightening. Sometimes I’ll just write about what’s most alive for me at that moment.

I chose to write a newsletter instead of just keeping a journal for a couple reasons:

I want to offer a friendly gathering place where we can listen to each other’s stories, compare notes, maybe get a sense of what to expect as empty nesters. (Empty nesters. Such a strange phrase.)
I want us to be able to share our thoughts and respond to others’ work as part of a broader conversation. The good faith exchange of ideas benefits us all.

This newsletter is for folks (mostly parents, but anyone’s welcome) who want to listen, contribute, learn new things, chill, laugh a little, consider different perspectives, and be the thoughtful, multifaceted humans we actually are.

My hope is we’ll discover we’re not alone in our challenges & joys — and we never were.

About me

I’m Asha Dornfest, a writer, parent and collector of collective wisdom.

I started out writing tech books in the mid-90’s. I launched my beloved blog, Parent Hacks, in 2005, and wrote there for over a decade.

The Parent Hacks community inspired my book Parent Hacks: 134 Genius Shortcuts for Life with Kids (Workman, 2016), a treasure trove of ingenuity and generosity in the form of a compact, illustrated gift book.

I also co-wrote Minimalist Parenting: Enjoy Modern Family Life More By Doing Less (Routledge, 2013) with my friend Christine Koh. This led to our co-hosting 250+ episodes of the Edit Your Life podcast from 2016-2021. The pod now thrives as a solo show by Christine.

My husband, Rael, and I have lived in Portland, Oregon for over 20 years. We love it here and are also thinking about downsizing at some point. My mom moved to Portland in 2022 after my dad died unexpectedly.

Between empty nesting, grief, the pandemic, high school and college disruptions, supporting my mom, and *looks around at the world* it’s a lot of change. But like everyone else, we’re making our way one day at a time.

Subscriber benefits

Free subscribers

This newsletter is free. You can expect a new post in your inbox every week or two. Archived posts move behind the paywall after a few months.

Comments are open to everyone for one week after publication. I very, very much hope to meet you in the comments! My dream newsletter is more of a conversation; to me, that’s what makes newsletters special.

Paid subscribers

Paid subscribers get additional benefits — my way of saying thank you for supporting my work:

Unlimited commenting privileges
The full, unlocked archive
Occasional supporter-only posts
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Lifetime subscribers get the additional perk of paid benefits for as long as they remain subscribed with no auto-renewal charges. (Great value, too.)

Why pay when this newsletter is free?

Parent of Adults is free, but my work is supported by paying subscribers.

“Support” means two things to me:

The financial support is obvious. Paid subscriptions allow me to earn an income while keeping this newsletter ad- and algorithm-free and accessible to everyone.
Paying for a subscription — even for a month or two — tells me you value my work and want to help me keep doing it. That kind of mutual support feels especially meaningful right now.

If you enjoy my work or have found it helpful over the years, consider supporting it with a paid subscription for any length of time.

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