Parent of Adults is a newsletter about life after the kids grow up.
They grow up! I mean, we knew this would happen, right?
Of course we did. And it’s wonderful. It’s also… weird.
I’m Asha Dornfest, a longtime writer and Gen X parent of two young adults (25 and 21).
My kids adults are well on their way to independence, and I’m thrilled — for them and me. But, so far, “empty nesting” has proven to be way more than a transition.
It’s a whole new world.
I assumed after some awkward adjustment time I’d eventually arrive at a new normal. But I’m no longer sure “normal” exists. There’s definitely no “arrival.”
(Come to think of it, this is not unlike how I felt as a new parent.)
This isn’t a problem, exactly.
My kids are ok, I’m ok, and life is good, at times heart-explodingly great. I’m grateful for all this growth and change but I’m also bewildered by it. It’s like learning to swim in a whirlpool.
I’m not the only one who feels this way, am I?
Parent of Adults is my invitation to compare notes on this strange season of parenting and life.
Let’s keep each other company as we stumble along our respective paths. I’m betting we’ll discover we were never alone.
What to expect when you’re expecting…this newsletter
Parent of Adults is more letter than news. Part bloggy personal narrative, part reality check, part open thread. An ongoing invitation to hang out, connect and explore our collective wisdom.
Publishing rhythm is regular-but-relaxed. New issues arrive weekly-ish, which works out to 3-4 newsletters per month.
Topics include parenting, self-care, marriage & partnership, friendship, personal (often humbling) growth, travel, supporting aging loved ones, maybe some recipes?, grounded activism, finding (or re-finding) purpose and fun, and links to stuff/people/writing I love.
Comments: Conversation is the goal of every newsletter. Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments! I’ll meet you there.
More about me
I started out in the mid-90s writing tech how-to books (fun fact: I wrote Microsoft FrontPage For Dummies).
In 2005, I was the overwhelmed parent of two little kids. I launched my blog, Parent Hacks, as a way to swap worked-for-me tips with other parents.
I didn’t know then that my mid-aughts blogging cohort would usher in a whole new era of parenting advice and support. Parent Hacks grew into an award-winning blog and a thriving, generous community which I solo-moderated for over a decade.
That community inspired the book Parent Hacks: 134 Genius Shortcuts for Life with Kids (Workman, 2016), a compact, illustrated guidebook full of clever wisdom from actual parents.
In 2013, I co-wrote Minimalist Parenting: Enjoy Modern Family Life More By Doing Less (Routledge) with my friend Christine Koh. The ideas in that book led to our launching the Edit Your Life podcast with the message that small, doable steps lead to big changes. We co-hosted 250+ episodes from 2016-2021, and the pod continues today as a solo show by Christine.
My husband, Rael, and I have lived in Portland, Oregon for over 20 years. We love it here and are also thinking about what our next chapter will look like. My dad died unexpectedly in 2020, weeks before pandemic lockdown, and my mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s the following year. This led her to relocate from her California home of 50 years to a retirement community near us.
Between empty nesting, grief, the pandemic, my kids’ high school- and college disruptions, various diagnoses, menopause, caring for my mom, and *looks around at the world* it’s … a lot.
Also: there’s a lot of beauty, laughter, and growth.
That’s the both/and of life, isn’t it? ⚖️ We’re managing it one day at a time.
Free vs. paid subscription
Free subscribers get…everything (this is a free newsletter). Comments are open to everyone for one week after publication. Archived posts move behind the paywall after a few months.
Paid subscribers get additional access as a thank you for supporting my work:
Unlimited access to comments
The full, unlocked archive
The ability to reply via email to send me a private note (I don’t use Substack DMs)
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Why pay when this newsletter is free?
Parent of Adults is a reader-supported publication. My definition of “reader support” is twofold:
The financial support is straightforward. My work is funded by paying subscribers. Paid supporters make it possible for me to earn an income while keeping the newsletter ad-free and accessible to everyone.
The reciprocity is priceless. A paid subscription is an offer of partnership that says “I value this work and want to help you keep doing it.”
More ways to think about paid subscription:
✋ Pushing back against Big Social Media
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✊🏽 Raising a fist for trust and interconnection in a cynical era
🤖🚫 Supporting original, human-created writing
✨ If you enjoy my work or have found it helpful over the years, please consider supporting it with a paid subscription.✨
Paid subscription tiers
There are three tiers, all with the same benefits. Choose a recurring subscription for any length of time, or choose Flat Rate for a “forever” paid subscription.
Monthly: $5/month, renews automatically each month
Annual: $36/year, works out to $3/month, renews automatically each year
Flat Rate: $50 one-time, one single payment of $50 for “forever” paid benefits! I repeat: no renewal charge! Credit card-friendly! A great value!
Cancel (with zero guilt) to revert to a free subscription whenever you like. I’m grateful for whatever level or length of support is feasible for you.
Sharing = Support
If a paid subscription isn’t feasible, you can powerfully support my work by sharing it. Your likes, shares and recommendations help this community grow. Just as important: every positive signal gives me a real boost.
You’ll find Share or Restack buttons at the end of each issue. Click them often!
Referral program
Every time you click Share or Restack, your referrals are counted. If you bring in new subscribers (free or paid), you’ll automatically receive a subscription upgrade — my way of saying thank you for your support.
Visit the leaderboard for details.
Buy a gift subscription for a friend
Treat your friend to a gift and support independent writing at the same time!
A gift subscription to Parent of Adults is a great way to recognize a friend’s parenting milestone:
High school graduation
18th or 21st birthday
College drop-off
Getting a new job
Moving out, etc.
Choose a term ($5 for one month or $36 for one year), add a personal note and schedule delivery for the date of your choice. 🎁
