💬 Open thread: Check-in for parents waiting on college decisions
How are you???
Parents of kids wading through college acceptance season right now: I’m thinking about you and wondering how you’re holding up?
The educational and financial picture in this country has darkened in the last week. Blasted retirement accounts, government crackdowns on speech and academic freedom, cancelled grants. The Department of Education — home of the FSA office, the largest provider of student aid — under threat, the snatching of foreign students by ICE... All this with the pandemic barely behind us.
Phew. I’m imagining how all this must feel for you.
I see the immense work you’re doing. I feel the weight you’re carrying as you bolster your kids while trying to think through major decisions in this chaotic environment.
This open thread is a place to talk, ask questions, share resources, or shake your fist at the heavens. If I have any wisdom or advice to offer, it’s yours. I invite everyone else to chime in, too. Let’s circle the wagons!
I remember how I felt when my kids were awaiting college news. It was spring of 2018 for my son, and spring of 2021 for my daughter. The anticipation and uncertainty were grueling. The trajectory of our family hinged on those decisions, after all. College choices would set the direction of our finances and family dynamic for years to come.
In April 2018, there was political turmoil, but a global pandemic was unthinkable, the stuff of Michael Crichton novels. Basic expectations about high school and college still held. My son participated in senior events and graduation followed by a bittersweet summer and college drop-off. It was hard, but relatively normal.
April 2021 bore no resemblance to 2018. We sat amidst the ruins of my daughter’s junior and senior years of high school. No matter where she ultimately went to college, what would the experience even look like? What future was she preparing for?
Both kids made leaps to out-of-state colleges and pulled themselves through (my daughter is on track to graduate in May). It hasn’t been easy, but not much has been easy these last few years, has it?
I always value hearing from parents a few years ahead of me, along with others in the same boat. I hope this helps you, too.
Parents awaiting college news: how are you doing?
How are your kids? Are their plans shifting? Are you finding ways to care for yourself? Questions? Requests for help? Need to vent? What can I/we do for you?
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Thanks for reading Parent of Adults. I’m Asha Dornfest, a Portland, Oregon-based author & parent of two young adults, and this newsletter is my invitation to compare notes on life beyond the empty nest.
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I'm here for the comments and support. We did admissions for my last kid last year, so no skin in the admissions game, but I have many friends doing the apps this year so I feel like I was well informed. I think this year was particularly rough for admissions. It rarely goes the way you hope and it often feels like a crapshoot, but I don't know any family who "got" what they wanted. There were lots of surprises.
In my house, my two STEM kids are feeling the effects of federal funding cuts. They are both affected by dwindling opportunities in their respective colleges and other research opportunities they've applied to and it's been very disappointing. We're onto plan B for the summer—and we're still trying to figure out what that is.
It would be really nice if I could resubmit my FAFSA using my current 401(k) and bank account numbers because they’ve changed quite a bit in the last couple of weeks. FFS. 🤦🏻♀️