Thanks for this article and the podcast rec. I'm at the beginning of this journey, but one thing I have noticed with my first-year college son (who is a chatty extrovert): There is a complex equation of questions I am allowed to ask and advice I am allowed to give in any given FT call before he abruptly cuts me off and has to go. It is SO HARD to keep my mouth shut. "Oh, who was that friend you were sitting with at lunch in your latest BeReal?" (Side note: can we talk about how AMAZING BeReal is when you have a kid away at school? And how you scour each daily photo for minute clues into their life??) "Did you email any of those places about summer internships yet?" NOPE.
I sense us both attempting to figure out what our relationship is going to be as he moves forward. I am trying so hard to follow his lead, and yet still be his mom.
What a wonderful perspective on boundaries and privacy, what is shared and what isn't. Thank you -- and thanks to Sam for allowing you to tell the story.
By the way, I absolutely love your subtitle -- I have to remember that in the coming months (sniff) as the nest continues to empty.
Oh - the boundaries. I try so hard to respect them . One of my children has a chronic health condition - and that is the boundary I struggle with the most. I want them to keep us in the loop as much as possible, so I struggle to keep my mouth shut, even though I’m terrified of the long term consequences of their inaction. Is there a point where it is appropriate to cross the boundary? And will it be worth it? Will they cut me off from all info?
Thank you for expressing my same frustrations with our children seeking their independence and us as parents wanting to still be a part of it without being an intruder. So hard for us but then so rewarding in the end! More fulfilling🥰
Asha! Asha! Oh this essay is something and so beautifully written. We don’t talk about how our relationships with our kids transform when they become adults. It’s hard to let go and let things be. And it’s hard to forge a new path forward. It takes time. And can be wonderful.
Thanks for this article and the podcast rec. I'm at the beginning of this journey, but one thing I have noticed with my first-year college son (who is a chatty extrovert): There is a complex equation of questions I am allowed to ask and advice I am allowed to give in any given FT call before he abruptly cuts me off and has to go. It is SO HARD to keep my mouth shut. "Oh, who was that friend you were sitting with at lunch in your latest BeReal?" (Side note: can we talk about how AMAZING BeReal is when you have a kid away at school? And how you scour each daily photo for minute clues into their life??) "Did you email any of those places about summer internships yet?" NOPE.
I sense us both attempting to figure out what our relationship is going to be as he moves forward. I am trying so hard to follow his lead, and yet still be his mom.
What a wonderful perspective on boundaries and privacy, what is shared and what isn't. Thank you -- and thanks to Sam for allowing you to tell the story.
By the way, I absolutely love your subtitle -- I have to remember that in the coming months (sniff) as the nest continues to empty.
Oh - the boundaries. I try so hard to respect them . One of my children has a chronic health condition - and that is the boundary I struggle with the most. I want them to keep us in the loop as much as possible, so I struggle to keep my mouth shut, even though I’m terrified of the long term consequences of their inaction. Is there a point where it is appropriate to cross the boundary? And will it be worth it? Will they cut me off from all info?
Thank you for expressing my same frustrations with our children seeking their independence and us as parents wanting to still be a part of it without being an intruder. So hard for us but then so rewarding in the end! More fulfilling🥰
Asha! Asha! Oh this essay is something and so beautifully written. We don’t talk about how our relationships with our kids transform when they become adults. It’s hard to let go and let things be. And it’s hard to forge a new path forward. It takes time. And can be wonderful.
I love all this and I love the podcast. I’ll be returning for sure...