Thank you for 20 years of inspiration, Asha! I am a few years behind you with a senior in high school and a junior in college. Eldercare has largely replaced childcare, and I’m grateful we have arranged our lives to be able to manage the juggle. Looking forward to the next 100 newsletters!
Oh, I love this! I'm a little behind you - kids still in middle and high school, but I so appreciate your perspective and realness. Writing a Substack and living a full life are both confusing work - I'm going to remind myself to let it be bumpy and just enjoy the ride. Congrats on 100 posts!
This may have given me a hot flash...? I don't know... and that applies to nearly every cobwebby corner of my life right now. I look to you and the community of smarties to give me something to go on. Thank you, Asha!
Asha, thank you for your honesty. Life is messy -- especially now. I've really enjoyed your musings on parenting and adulting and grieving and caring for aging parents. I'm in the same stage of life and reading your newsletter has made me feel a little less alone. I started a Substack recently and I've already felt my self-consciousness creep in, worried that I'm indulging in navel gazing. When I read you say something similar, I want to scream out "NOOOO!" you are helping people feel less alone and more connected! Now I'll go take my own advice :) Congrats on 100!
Oh Asha, I love this. I've followed you for years and years. I even have Minimalist Parenting on my bookshelf across the room. I've appreciated your honesty these last few years of uncertainty and change. It's all uncertainty all the time here here in SE Queensland. I'm navigating living on the other side of the world from my mom, a kid in his first year of university, and my husband has an exciting new work project so he's not home much either. It's been bewildering, but I'm finding my way. I've always appreciated your work to make community. I'm so glad you're here.
I'm really enjoying your substack, and finding it helpful, too. Your kids are a bit ahead mine; he is 21 and going back for his senior year of college in the fall. He's got some issues, and I've got some issues, and probably we all have some issues. Nice to not feel as alone in it.
"He's got some issues, and I've got some issues, and probably we all have some issues." This made me smile. I mean, don't we all?? Even just acknowledging that feels important. Thanks, Loren, I'm glad you're here.
I've found so much comfort and community in your words here. Congrats on this really impressive milestone. My son is moving home soon, too. I'm looking forward to it. Not assuming it will all be smooth sailing, but glad we've made a home he feels comfortable coming back to when it makes sense for him. With one still in college and one graduated we've started talking about what it means to live together as adults. My goal is for them to be able to live their adults lives here, not revert to some younger version of themselves. It takes work, but it's good, rewarding, relationship expanding work. Wishing you all the best as your family gathers together again to become a new version of itself. And hoping you take some time to bask in the glow of the lovely community you've created here. Well done. 🤗💕
Thank you so much for this lovely note, Tara, and for all your past comments, too. "Good, rewarding, relationship-expanding work" and "not assuming it will all be smooth sailing" are such wise perspectives. Your words are a comfort -- I'm glad mine have been for you as well.
Thankful for your words. We have our 22 year old back living at home finishing her last year of 2 grad programs, but before that she’s heading to Europe for a 6 week writing/pleasure trip. Our 18 year old is heading to Berkeley in 6 weeks and my husband and I are in a weird place of figuring out how to navigate this stage. How do we live with our oldest at home, all adults, and not fall into our old habits? How do we help our youngest adjust to college life? I am comforted by your community and feel less alone.
Thanks for sharing, Traci. Both your kids/adults have exciting changes ahead (and I'm a Berkeley grad so a little nostalgia there...). Rael and I are asking ourselves some of the same questions you and your husband are. We're trying to talk these old patterns through just to bring them to the surface (so many go unspoken). Not a lot of clarity, but at least it's on our radar.
My son turned 40 this year which was a bit jarring. Needless to say I am way past the college years and the nest has been empty for about 15 years. It’s mind blowing. I do have the aging father experience and just enjoy following along with your journey.
My son did move home after his post college job at a start up went bankrupt. He was home for 18 months preparing for his launch which he did successfully. While he was away at college I remarried and moved so he came home to a completely different situation than he left. We got through it fairly well all things considered.
Best wishes to all those who are launching their children soon or welcoming them back home.
Thank you for this glimpse ahead, Lori. Just hearing you look back from the 15-year mark is settling, somehow. And I can understand how "40" feels a bit jarring! These adults keep getting adult-ier!
It sounds like you and Rael have a good relationship and work together navigating all this. So I have a marriage question for you and readers: Do you run out of things to say and ever eat a meal silently, together? I'm not worried about my marriage, but we both work from home and eat breakfast, lunch and dinner together. I can run out of things to say while I'm picking up my fork!
Hi Jill, lovely to see you (always). We’ve both worked from home in various capacities for most of our careers but we also have lots of separate interests, so we’re not sharing space all the time. The only “talking” meal we usually have is dinner. Quiet during AM coffee (one or both of us is reading or journaling), and one of us is usually out at midday. Rael needs more quiet/non-talking than I do so sometimes we just agree to be quiet together after dinner.
Thank you for 20 years of inspiration, Asha! I am a few years behind you with a senior in high school and a junior in college. Eldercare has largely replaced childcare, and I’m grateful we have arranged our lives to be able to manage the juggle. Looking forward to the next 100 newsletters!
!!! Thank you for that, Matt. Your kids and parents are lucky to have such care.
Oh, I love this! I'm a little behind you - kids still in middle and high school, but I so appreciate your perspective and realness. Writing a Substack and living a full life are both confusing work - I'm going to remind myself to let it be bumpy and just enjoy the ride. Congrats on 100 posts!
Thank you so much, Kara. I’m glad we’re on the ride together.
Hi Asha! The little angel is 21 and I'm here with you, girl.
Rita!! Here with you, for all these years! Congrats on 21…a milestone for all of you.
This may have given me a hot flash...? I don't know... and that applies to nearly every cobwebby corner of my life right now. I look to you and the community of smarties to give me something to go on. Thank you, Asha!
You’re…welcome? 😂 You can hang out in my cobwebby corner any time.
Asha, thank you for your honesty. Life is messy -- especially now. I've really enjoyed your musings on parenting and adulting and grieving and caring for aging parents. I'm in the same stage of life and reading your newsletter has made me feel a little less alone. I started a Substack recently and I've already felt my self-consciousness creep in, worried that I'm indulging in navel gazing. When I read you say something similar, I want to scream out "NOOOO!" you are helping people feel less alone and more connected! Now I'll go take my own advice :) Congrats on 100!
Wow, Rachel, thanks for that boost. I would love to read your Substack and return the favor.
Oh Asha, I love this. I've followed you for years and years. I even have Minimalist Parenting on my bookshelf across the room. I've appreciated your honesty these last few years of uncertainty and change. It's all uncertainty all the time here here in SE Queensland. I'm navigating living on the other side of the world from my mom, a kid in his first year of university, and my husband has an exciting new work project so he's not home much either. It's been bewildering, but I'm finding my way. I've always appreciated your work to make community. I'm so glad you're here.
Heide! I’m so glad YOU’RE here. Thank you for this and all your other thoughtful, wise comments. I love hearing from you.
I'm really enjoying your substack, and finding it helpful, too. Your kids are a bit ahead mine; he is 21 and going back for his senior year of college in the fall. He's got some issues, and I've got some issues, and probably we all have some issues. Nice to not feel as alone in it.
"He's got some issues, and I've got some issues, and probably we all have some issues." This made me smile. I mean, don't we all?? Even just acknowledging that feels important. Thanks, Loren, I'm glad you're here.
I've found so much comfort and community in your words here. Congrats on this really impressive milestone. My son is moving home soon, too. I'm looking forward to it. Not assuming it will all be smooth sailing, but glad we've made a home he feels comfortable coming back to when it makes sense for him. With one still in college and one graduated we've started talking about what it means to live together as adults. My goal is for them to be able to live their adults lives here, not revert to some younger version of themselves. It takes work, but it's good, rewarding, relationship expanding work. Wishing you all the best as your family gathers together again to become a new version of itself. And hoping you take some time to bask in the glow of the lovely community you've created here. Well done. 🤗💕
Thank you so much for this lovely note, Tara, and for all your past comments, too. "Good, rewarding, relationship-expanding work" and "not assuming it will all be smooth sailing" are such wise perspectives. Your words are a comfort -- I'm glad mine have been for you as well.
Thankful for your words. We have our 22 year old back living at home finishing her last year of 2 grad programs, but before that she’s heading to Europe for a 6 week writing/pleasure trip. Our 18 year old is heading to Berkeley in 6 weeks and my husband and I are in a weird place of figuring out how to navigate this stage. How do we live with our oldest at home, all adults, and not fall into our old habits? How do we help our youngest adjust to college life? I am comforted by your community and feel less alone.
Thanks for sharing, Traci. Both your kids/adults have exciting changes ahead (and I'm a Berkeley grad so a little nostalgia there...). Rael and I are asking ourselves some of the same questions you and your husband are. We're trying to talk these old patterns through just to bring them to the surface (so many go unspoken). Not a lot of clarity, but at least it's on our radar.
My son turned 40 this year which was a bit jarring. Needless to say I am way past the college years and the nest has been empty for about 15 years. It’s mind blowing. I do have the aging father experience and just enjoy following along with your journey.
My son did move home after his post college job at a start up went bankrupt. He was home for 18 months preparing for his launch which he did successfully. While he was away at college I remarried and moved so he came home to a completely different situation than he left. We got through it fairly well all things considered.
Best wishes to all those who are launching their children soon or welcoming them back home.
Thank you for this glimpse ahead, Lori. Just hearing you look back from the 15-year mark is settling, somehow. And I can understand how "40" feels a bit jarring! These adults keep getting adult-ier!
Thanks as always.
It sounds like you and Rael have a good relationship and work together navigating all this. So I have a marriage question for you and readers: Do you run out of things to say and ever eat a meal silently, together? I'm not worried about my marriage, but we both work from home and eat breakfast, lunch and dinner together. I can run out of things to say while I'm picking up my fork!
Hi Jill, lovely to see you (always). We’ve both worked from home in various capacities for most of our careers but we also have lots of separate interests, so we’re not sharing space all the time. The only “talking” meal we usually have is dinner. Quiet during AM coffee (one or both of us is reading or journaling), and one of us is usually out at midday. Rael needs more quiet/non-talking than I do so sometimes we just agree to be quiet together after dinner.
Happy 100 Asha. So happy to have found you here.
Thank you, Jenna. Me too, SO happy. I always love your perspective and your beautiful photos.