17 Comments

This was just the ticket. Thank you. Thanks for the links, also. Funny how many of us are not all over social media like we were last time. I feel almost *allergic* to it this time.

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Totally. I feel this floaty disconnected untethered feeling in social media, whereas here, in the comments with you all, I feel this settled rooted trusted feeling.

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I love the idea of co-regulation. I have been doing my best to be patient and kind while out in the world, just because I'm trying to treat others as I hope they'll treat me, but this idea makes so much sense. I know I could sure use some regulation. Getting there... (Back in 2016, I didn't interact with you, but I knew of you, and I wondered how you could do all that you were doing. I suspect many of us will be reacting differently this time. I know I am. I think I saw that as a short-term emergency; we're now in for a long haul. We're all going to have to pace ourselves.)

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There’s so much to talk about re: 2016 vs now. I’m grateful for places like this to iterate on our thoughts and feelings. For me at least, it takes talking about it, going back and forth in good faith with trusted folks, to approach how I feel and what to do next.

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Lovely, Asha. Thank you for the shout-out :)

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Thank YOU. I have been circling around my changing relationship with online community for a long time and you helped give me some words for it.

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Indeed, it is these tiny acts... moments of pause... choosing something good instead. I love you, friend, and have been thinking so much about our arc together.

(And thanks for including my post.)

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🖤🖤🖤

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You made me take a deep breath and lower my shoulders. I had a colleague at a previous job who recognized that stress signal; and she would say, "Get your shoulders out of your ears!" Remarkably effective way to re-set!

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Your comment just made me lower my shoulders, Melissa!! CO-REGULATION!!!

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I read this with my hand on my chin and my fingers covering my mouth.

Didn't realize it even as I read it.

I love you, friend. Thank you for being you.

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Adrienne!!!!! (Exclamation points = joy) it’s so good to see you here.

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"Small acts of kindness, no matter how small are never wasted" ❤️ This was the quote on a Peanuts garbage can I had when I was a kid. I never forgot it! It means a lot to me when I get a smile, even a tired one from a stranger. I try to share a smile with women I encounter but not men. It makes me irrationally angry to feel compelled to smile at a man I don't know though I am always pleasant to avoid confrontation. I think as women we get more out of kindness from each other than from anyone else. I don't mean to bring gender into it but it's the elephant in the room for me.

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I really appreciate your honest comment, Lauren. Thank you. And your memory about a Peanut garbage can totally brought me back!

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Thanks for your thoughts. It’s first thing in the morning here in the UK and I plan to look for co regulation opportunities on today’s challenges.

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Thank you, Lynn. I just had this tiny vision of these little glimmers of warmth passing back-and-forth over the Atlantic between us. Your comment really means a lot to me.

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Thank you Asha. This idea of being calm for each other is the first thing that's resonated with me.

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