I have a five month old and three elementary schoolers and this made me cry. Thank you so much for sharing. Sometimes I think I’ll go crazy from noises pressing on me at all times. And yet I know I’ll ache for them when they’re not here. Also, re: photos floating around, may I recommend making a printed family magazine periodically. Blurb has simple options and it’s affordable. Low stakes but still meaningful.
Alex!!! Thank you for this. Isn’t it amazing, like a different world? First, let me just validate how you’re feeling right now. Back then people would say things to me like “it will all be over so quickly and then you’ll wish you were back.” I’m sure these folks meant well, but I felt subtly judged for being ungrateful. I do ache for them now, but not in a way that makes me regret how I felt then.
The photo mag idea is so smart. In fact this episode of photo browsing inspired us to get all of our digital photos organized....a job I’ve put off forever. Printed books/mags will be the next step.
Asha, this is so beautiful. Thank you for bringing back that sharp memory of the wide-eyed baby experiencing that first bath, the shock of the new sensation, the unfamiliarity of it all… and then me, absolutely positive I would somehow get the soap in her eyes, make the water too hot, let her slip out of my hands. Oof. It’s like a perfect photograph in my mind.
It is serendipitous timing you wrote about photos. Following a sudden divorce several years ago and the shock I found myself both craving some proof in photos that our life was what I thought it was, but also avoiding them because they added to the shock. And then so much time went by that I didn’t organize them. When the photos were needed for school retrospectives at first it was “oh how cute”, followed by missing that time of life, followed by a deeper ache for those little people and then an avoidance. And then the guilt. Guilt that my youngest who didn’t grow up in that life because he wasn’t yet born also doesn’t have the photo books or magazines. I mean self-torture. So the other day I mentioned to a friend I really couldn’t take the time (yet) to organize photos and she said I think it’s fairly common I can’t look at photos of the kids when they were little and not get stuck thinking about time passes so quickly and on and on before it’s more sad than sweet memories. It isn’t just for the babies but my own youth I didn’t recognize at the time!
Betsy, your comment is so moving. Thank you for sharing here, and I'm sorry for the pain that inevitably accompanies your memories. I'm struck by the sheer depth of feeling we must navigate as our kids grow and our lives change, often in ways we don't expect or control.
I think it is irony, or something akin, when the pain of looking back is because it was so good? My son was watching eternal sunshine of the spotless mind the other night and the idea of spotless mind syndrome becomes more understood with more experiences.
I feel all those feels. I reminisce every time I see a baby, toddler, grade schooler, adolescent and high schooler and I try to remember the moments with each of my kiddos at that stage. Thank goodness for pictures that are in so many forms! But I really wish they were all just physical photos because I was so good at developing them😭 Looking at them now brings my heart so much joy for their journey and also pains when they struggle. The mama heart lives on♥️
ALL OF THIS. The both/and of joy and pain...I mean, WOW. And I kind of miss film snapshots too. I passed by a drugstore photo counter the other day and was hit with memories!
All our photos rotate in and out of our computer backgrounds thanks to John's Background Switcher program. I see my parents as young newlyweds in the early 60's, then my kids at their high school graduations. We keep the program on the computers of the grandparents too. There are times I just sit looking at my screen without opening any windows! And, on a different note, after feeling like I hadn't adjusted to empty nest life at all, a chickie came home to the nest from college. I guess I'd adapted a bit without noticing. The food! The messes! The noise! (And the snuggles and the baking and...)
I love this, Jill. And YES to the noise/mess/food etc — once we had the house to ourselves, it was a revelation. That’s when I realized the space did us all good.
#1 graduates from college on June 10th, #2 finishes 6th grade and #3 finishes 2nd grade on June 14th. I can't believe we're "there" with #1, and I can't believe how far we have yet to go with the younger boys! I still frequently fear it will never end or that I'll be too old to enjoy the calm when it comes. I'm thankful for the ten years of parenting wisdom I gained between #1 and #2, so I can step in and remind myself to savor what is happening *right now.* Parenting and witnessing our children's transitions (as we experience our own) is so deep and juicy!
With one of my kids, she’s still the age where it’s very physical, and I think the lack of it with my big kid makes me drunk up every second. Honestly if she stayed five for at least the next ten years, I’d be delighted. But thanks for the reminder that watching them grow is also so magical. The big kid is a year into university and such an incredible man. And I loved him as a teen and tween too. Oof!
I have a five month old and three elementary schoolers and this made me cry. Thank you so much for sharing. Sometimes I think I’ll go crazy from noises pressing on me at all times. And yet I know I’ll ache for them when they’re not here. Also, re: photos floating around, may I recommend making a printed family magazine periodically. Blurb has simple options and it’s affordable. Low stakes but still meaningful.
Alex!!! Thank you for this. Isn’t it amazing, like a different world? First, let me just validate how you’re feeling right now. Back then people would say things to me like “it will all be over so quickly and then you’ll wish you were back.” I’m sure these folks meant well, but I felt subtly judged for being ungrateful. I do ache for them now, but not in a way that makes me regret how I felt then.
The photo mag idea is so smart. In fact this episode of photo browsing inspired us to get all of our digital photos organized....a job I’ve put off forever. Printed books/mags will be the next step.
Feeling this deeply. My college kid just graduated last weekend and my high schooler graduates in two weeks. Oh, the ache.
Oh boy. What a time of change and growth for you and your whole family. My son just graduated from college, too. A whole new frontier.
Asha, this is so beautiful. Thank you for bringing back that sharp memory of the wide-eyed baby experiencing that first bath, the shock of the new sensation, the unfamiliarity of it all… and then me, absolutely positive I would somehow get the soap in her eyes, make the water too hot, let her slip out of my hands. Oof. It’s like a perfect photograph in my mind.
It is serendipitous timing you wrote about photos. Following a sudden divorce several years ago and the shock I found myself both craving some proof in photos that our life was what I thought it was, but also avoiding them because they added to the shock. And then so much time went by that I didn’t organize them. When the photos were needed for school retrospectives at first it was “oh how cute”, followed by missing that time of life, followed by a deeper ache for those little people and then an avoidance. And then the guilt. Guilt that my youngest who didn’t grow up in that life because he wasn’t yet born also doesn’t have the photo books or magazines. I mean self-torture. So the other day I mentioned to a friend I really couldn’t take the time (yet) to organize photos and she said I think it’s fairly common I can’t look at photos of the kids when they were little and not get stuck thinking about time passes so quickly and on and on before it’s more sad than sweet memories. It isn’t just for the babies but my own youth I didn’t recognize at the time!
Betsy, your comment is so moving. Thank you for sharing here, and I'm sorry for the pain that inevitably accompanies your memories. I'm struck by the sheer depth of feeling we must navigate as our kids grow and our lives change, often in ways we don't expect or control.
I think it is irony, or something akin, when the pain of looking back is because it was so good? My son was watching eternal sunshine of the spotless mind the other night and the idea of spotless mind syndrome becomes more understood with more experiences.
Really nice gift you asked for to float through photos...💫❤️
Yes, I love that idea!
I feel all those feels. I reminisce every time I see a baby, toddler, grade schooler, adolescent and high schooler and I try to remember the moments with each of my kiddos at that stage. Thank goodness for pictures that are in so many forms! But I really wish they were all just physical photos because I was so good at developing them😭 Looking at them now brings my heart so much joy for their journey and also pains when they struggle. The mama heart lives on♥️
ALL OF THIS. The both/and of joy and pain...I mean, WOW. And I kind of miss film snapshots too. I passed by a drugstore photo counter the other day and was hit with memories!
All our photos rotate in and out of our computer backgrounds thanks to John's Background Switcher program. I see my parents as young newlyweds in the early 60's, then my kids at their high school graduations. We keep the program on the computers of the grandparents too. There are times I just sit looking at my screen without opening any windows! And, on a different note, after feeling like I hadn't adjusted to empty nest life at all, a chickie came home to the nest from college. I guess I'd adapted a bit without noticing. The food! The messes! The noise! (And the snuggles and the baking and...)
I love this, Jill. And YES to the noise/mess/food etc — once we had the house to ourselves, it was a revelation. That’s when I realized the space did us all good.
#1 graduates from college on June 10th, #2 finishes 6th grade and #3 finishes 2nd grade on June 14th. I can't believe we're "there" with #1, and I can't believe how far we have yet to go with the younger boys! I still frequently fear it will never end or that I'll be too old to enjoy the calm when it comes. I'm thankful for the ten years of parenting wisdom I gained between #1 and #2, so I can step in and remind myself to savor what is happening *right now.* Parenting and witnessing our children's transitions (as we experience our own) is so deep and juicy!
This made me cry!!!
With one of my kids, she’s still the age where it’s very physical, and I think the lack of it with my big kid makes me drunk up every second. Honestly if she stayed five for at least the next ten years, I’d be delighted. But thanks for the reminder that watching them grow is also so magical. The big kid is a year into university and such an incredible man. And I loved him as a teen and tween too. Oof!