Where's the summer pause button?

Are your days sauntering and racing by at the same time?

I’m writing to you from my back patio while sipping my second cup of coffee. (Happiness is when Rael leaves me a full second cup of coffee in the pot.) It’s all raggedy abundance around here. Weeds are going to seed in the garden and the birds like them as much as I like not worrying about them.

From July to September in Portland you believe in your cells that the sun will shine forever. I’m basking in denial, but I’m also aware that the days are slipping by. Does summer have a pause button?

The creeping desperation reminds me of the summers after my kids’ high school graduations. I tried to play it cool and give them space and relish the excitement of what was ahead, but I also wanted to clutch their legs and never let go. My brain screamed YOU ARE READY FOR THIS! SO AM I! 💃🏽 Also, DON’T GOOOOOOOOOOO 😩

Here’s

Liz Gumbinner

(who I seem to quote constantly) in What I Will Be Without Her:

For the past 18 years I was highly conscious of not “losing myself” in my children, whatever that means. But what about all the ways we’ve found ourselves in them? Can we talk about that?

I’m not crying! I’ve got something in my eye!

ANYWAY. If you’re in the middle of a carefree summer, ignore me and my bittersweet nostalgia! Stop reading this and pour another glass of lemonade! Throw on your tank top and let those shoulders feel the sun! Unless you’re being blasted by heat wave in which case sip your lemonade in a lovely, air-conditioned room! Put on a sweater, for God sakes, it’s freezing in there!

But it’s okay if you feel a secret twinge of don’t-let-summer-end greediness, too.