When you don't know what else to do, help the helpers
Your sphere of influence is bigger than you think 🌎
In 2012, I traveled to Ethiopia as a member of a team of parenting writers invited by ONE, the non-partisan global anti-poverty advocacy group. Our objective was to learn and write about how US aid impacted families and children, and then share these stories with our mostly-American and UK audiences.
In the 13 years since, my kids have grown up and so have I. To say a lot has changed is to state the ridiculously obvious.
What hasn’t changed and what I know to be true today:
You don’t have to lose yourself in the world’s challenges (or even fully understand them) to help address them.
You can live your life, safeguard your joy, and have a positive impact at the same time.
The key is to help the helpers.
In 2012, my kids were 11 and 8.
I was a busy writer who knew next to nothing about US foreign assistance. I knew our government sent money and goods overseas to combat poverty and disease. There, my understanding petered out, lost in the radio static of my middle-class American life. I had little bandwidth for politics and global issues back then. The work of the US government hummed along in the background of my awareness.
Luckily, ONE invited me onto the team as a writer, not an expert. Starting with zero experience actually helped me approach the work with a beginner’s blank slate.
ONE taught us about international aid by introducing us to people it touched.
Not just aid recipients, but local partners responsible for turning US dollars into effective programs.
Our guide loaded us into a van and took us to visit schoolrooms, roadside health clinics and remote farming villages, some of which were at the end of bumpy dirt roads.
We observed the remarkable impact of relatively small amounts of funding:
We spoke to doctors who provided lifesaving pre- and postnatal care and nurses who administered vaccines to people who’d walked miles to get them.
We met students, parents, teachers, administrators, beekeepers, surgeons and young entrepreneurs.
We visited an organization that employed women as artisans so they could support their families without having to go into sex work, the only other income-earning work reliably available.
I learned that aid begins with politics.
Did you know that in 2003, President George W. Bush signed a health initiative into law that prevented millions of Africans from dying of AIDS? I had no idea.
My takeaway
Historically, US aid makes up approximately 1% of the federal budget. One percent. The US is the wealthiest country in the world. It contributes more aid than every other country, but considerably less than others as a portion of national income.1
Every person, no matter where they live, wants a shot at the same basic things: health, a decent job, and a future for their kids.
US international aid should be a source of national pride. It isn’t waste, nor is it charity. It’s justice.
I care, but I’m also overwhelmed. What am I supposed to do?
Let’s pause here to take a breath and acknowledge a difficult truth:
None of us, no matter how much we know or care, can act on every issue (or even take it in).
But let’s take a closer look at that feeling of overwhelm. Empathy can sometimes morph into paralyzing guilt over one’s relative good fortune. Perhaps that rings a bell? The care more/do less paradox is as understandable as it is hard to admit. I’ve certainly felt it.
But there’s no shame in living and enjoying our lives. On the contrary, when we live fully, we free up energy and resources to share.
If you’re immobilized by despair, pivot toward helping the helpers.
Helpers like the ONE Campaign already have the knowhow, relationships, and infrastructure in place to make real progress. Even if you’ve only got a few minutes per week to spare, adding your voice to their efforts gives you an outsized impact.
Of course, there are thousands of organizations out there. Here’s a suggestion for how to find one to support:
One day this week, use the time you’d usually fill with news scrolling to identify a helper (ONE is an excellent choice.). Don’t overthink it — just find a trustworthy organization working on an issue you care about. Google helps with research, so does Charity Navigator. I chose the ACLU because I’m extremely concerned about the rights and safety of trans people.
Support this helper with your time, voice or money. Small amounts are fine. My ACLU donation gets autopaid every month. I might switch my donation if I find a local organization, but for now I know that I’m contributing.
Then go live your life! Take care of yourself! Seek out joy! Come back refreshed! Know that all the while you’re having a positive impact.
What do you think about 👆🏽 this plan? How would you improve it? Know any aid organizations or other helpers that deserve a spotlight?
But first: If you haven’t already, read this to familiarize yourself with my approach to political talk here at Parent of Adults.
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NOTES OF NOTE
More on our Ethiopia trip: this ONE.org blog post, this profile in the Oregonian, this Huffpost piece I wrote from the road, and the short video above. Ethiopia is so beautiful!
Several of my travelmates are also on Substack:
, , , and . Karen was the official photographer for the trip and previously a ONE ambassador in Kenya.From the Activism archive: choose a focus, work within your sphere of influence and my answer to “can we just NOT talk about politics?”
Thanks for reading Parent of Adults. I’m Asha Dornfest, a Portland, Oregon-based author & parent of two young adults, and this newsletter is my invitation to compare notes on life beyond the empty nest.
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Source: What is US foreign assistance? at the Brookings Institute.
"Helping the helpers" has been my intentional, go-to activism this year, even though I don't think I could've articulated it as well as you. Thanks for putting words to my intentions, friend.
My sister (who is an expert on planned giving to charities) also recommends:
a) finding helpers that leverage existing efforts and laws (like, for environmental concerns = try supporting ELAW (elaw dot org), who provide staff support for legal action using existing environmental laws that are often ignored or bypassed). Funding grant writers is another leverage point, because one well written grant may cost an organization $5000 to do, but can collect up to millions in funds for action or research.
b) if you don't have much to give, donations to smaller orgs has more impact per dollar. $25 makes very little dent in multi million dollar orgs, but a visible impact in one run on a shoestring. Knowing which ones are sufficiently pulled together to actually have that impact is hard, so she orients to Global Giving dot org, which checks the quality of all their micro projects in advance and ongoing. You can search for areas of interest, in the US or elsewhere, or give to their general fund.
Both of those approaches allow us to orient to leverage, and if we pick based on helping the helpers within that, it has almost a multiplier effect.
Bonus, kids love doing global giving stuff - any interest, they've got a project for it. My church kids earned money for lemur habitat protection and providing high quality cloth diapers to families affected by hurricanes in the Caribbean, including adult sizes for elder care. (when shipping/distribution channels and trash pickup both fail, having cloth diapers available is important)