This is our current mood, but I’m eying the date of my daughter’s return to college later this month wondering, how are we already here?
Many of you are in the lead-up to college drop-off, some for the first time. If your experience is like mine, your to-do lists and hearts are currently FULL.
Ask your college drop-off questions! Share your best pointers! Let’s meet in the comments and tap into this community’s amazing collective wisdom.
My #1 pointer is the Grown & Flown community. YEARS of incredible community, articles, lists, interviews... also a wonderful book: https://grownandflown.com
Having a moment this year, as my son has his own car now, and in his Sophomore year does NOT want college drop off - he's content to do it all himself! How can I gracefully step back, but still celebrate his transition from afar? (I mean besides DoorDash or Insomnia Cookies?! 🍪 😆)
My advice: Less is more. Unless your kid's school is TRULY isolated, you really don't need to bring that much with you, besides clothing. Sheets, comforter, pillow, mattress pad, power strip and extra-long charging cables are really the only true necessities in our experience. Dorm rooms are small, and between Target and Amazon, it's super easy to get what you need once you are actually in the physical space. (I also want to note that I totally understand that for many parents and kids, buying for the dorm room is a way to feel like they're preparing for the separation and ensuring success. But if you can channel that anxious energy somewhere else, I recommend it.)
My main advice for parents on the first drop off is maybe overused but be gentle with yourselves! I had SUCH a hard time after dropping off my first, I felt so sad and unmoored and just so, so many feelings. It still makes me teary to think of how hard that first week was! But similar to other transitions, it truly is not as much of an ending as it might seem at first. I know not every parent takes it so hard and lots of my friends were excited to travel and do other non-parent related activities but if you're one of the ones who takes it hard -- I am with you and it really is going to be ok!
My daughter is leaving in less than 2 weeks and I’m at the crying every day phase. The last two days my grief was especially intense. She’s so ready to go, not nervous. Which makes me so happy. This is about my sense of loss to an end of the era of raising young kids. I have an older kid who did not go away and still lives with us, so it’s not an empty nest, but a major shift for our family.
Little advice for first time drop-off: don't spend a fortune on items that will be too large to pack up and store/ship at the end of the year. Get cheap stuff you can abandon/donate! We'd get a $40 printer from Walmart and hand it off to another kid at the end of the year. It was cheaper to get a new one each year than to pay to ship it home.
I would love some advice from parents of kids who’ve had a really tough time during high school and who are committed to going to college and yet we as the parents know that it may not “stick” the first year. In fact, I’m not sure if due to anxiety he’ll even be able to go at all as expected. He’s very reluctant to talk about it, which is really his anxiety causing him to be avoidant. But he’s supposed to start a week from Saturday and it’s really hard to know how to get him ready...
I read somewhere recently the suggestion that if you do nothing else, schedule something, anything, for yourself and put it on the calendar for after your student(s) leaves. Has anyone consciously done this? Planned something that is just for you that will help in some way after they go? My life is about to shift in a very big way as my twins (onlies) head out this month. So far I've schedule some neglected medical appointments for later in September/October. This doesn't seem quite like what I think the author of the piece I read had in mind. ;) What have you done? How did you shift your days? I will re-enter the outside workforce eventually, but I'm also trying to take a little time to figure out me first.
Preparing for college drop-off
My #1 pointer is the Grown & Flown community. YEARS of incredible community, articles, lists, interviews... also a wonderful book: https://grownandflown.com
Having a moment this year, as my son has his own car now, and in his Sophomore year does NOT want college drop off - he's content to do it all himself! How can I gracefully step back, but still celebrate his transition from afar? (I mean besides DoorDash or Insomnia Cookies?! 🍪 😆)
My advice: Less is more. Unless your kid's school is TRULY isolated, you really don't need to bring that much with you, besides clothing. Sheets, comforter, pillow, mattress pad, power strip and extra-long charging cables are really the only true necessities in our experience. Dorm rooms are small, and between Target and Amazon, it's super easy to get what you need once you are actually in the physical space. (I also want to note that I totally understand that for many parents and kids, buying for the dorm room is a way to feel like they're preparing for the separation and ensuring success. But if you can channel that anxious energy somewhere else, I recommend it.)
My main advice for parents on the first drop off is maybe overused but be gentle with yourselves! I had SUCH a hard time after dropping off my first, I felt so sad and unmoored and just so, so many feelings. It still makes me teary to think of how hard that first week was! But similar to other transitions, it truly is not as much of an ending as it might seem at first. I know not every parent takes it so hard and lots of my friends were excited to travel and do other non-parent related activities but if you're one of the ones who takes it hard -- I am with you and it really is going to be ok!
I'll be dropping my first kid off at college next month, so I very much appreciate this conversation!
My daughter is leaving in less than 2 weeks and I’m at the crying every day phase. The last two days my grief was especially intense. She’s so ready to go, not nervous. Which makes me so happy. This is about my sense of loss to an end of the era of raising young kids. I have an older kid who did not go away and still lives with us, so it’s not an empty nest, but a major shift for our family.
Little advice for first time drop-off: don't spend a fortune on items that will be too large to pack up and store/ship at the end of the year. Get cheap stuff you can abandon/donate! We'd get a $40 printer from Walmart and hand it off to another kid at the end of the year. It was cheaper to get a new one each year than to pay to ship it home.
I would love some advice from parents of kids who’ve had a really tough time during high school and who are committed to going to college and yet we as the parents know that it may not “stick” the first year. In fact, I’m not sure if due to anxiety he’ll even be able to go at all as expected. He’s very reluctant to talk about it, which is really his anxiety causing him to be avoidant. But he’s supposed to start a week from Saturday and it’s really hard to know how to get him ready...
I read somewhere recently the suggestion that if you do nothing else, schedule something, anything, for yourself and put it on the calendar for after your student(s) leaves. Has anyone consciously done this? Planned something that is just for you that will help in some way after they go? My life is about to shift in a very big way as my twins (onlies) head out this month. So far I've schedule some neglected medical appointments for later in September/October. This doesn't seem quite like what I think the author of the piece I read had in mind. ;) What have you done? How did you shift your days? I will re-enter the outside workforce eventually, but I'm also trying to take a little time to figure out me first.