18 Comments
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giyen's avatar

I love the deep end of the pool! Bravo! Excited to learn more. ❤️

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PluckyJen's avatar

Okay, #1: Fairy shrimp wins the newsletter.

But #2: the legions of followers stuff... what a little mess this is for me. I think Maria Popova is brilliant and love this idea - "making the lives of legions of strangers more livable for them — nourishing some malnourished part of them..." but what about people/brands/companies who pump out content at an astonishing rate so that it's all kind of... worthless? Maybe the nourishment comes from feeling in the in-crowd in those cases? Which is kind of yikes?

ANYWAY THIS NEWSLETTER WAS VERY NOURISHING. Thank you, Asha!

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Asha Dornfest's avatar

#1: Thank you for joining me in my enthusiasm for fairy shrimp. #2: my take on Maria’s “legions of followers” phrasing is that she’s talking about the human response to art, not “popularity” in the social media numbers game sense. By excerpting I might have removed too much context. I wonder if after reading her original piece that bit would sit better.

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Tracy H's avatar

Can’t wait to hear more about entering this next phase of life and become friends with my adult children. I love that we can navigate the roads together!

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Asha Dornfest's avatar

Me too, Tracy!

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Em's avatar

i LOVE your explanation of why you charge. I feel like you should license that language to everyone on Substack!!!

Also really loved the quote about artists and making lives more liveable. Just yesterday I was in a workshop with someone who does social media for musicians. I was talking about how most things we pay for are solving a problem and she asked what problem the musicians were solving. I grappled around for words about how our lives are mundane and we long for transcendence, or how those feelings of longing and thrill are so wonderful but we don't all WANT to be permanently freshly in love (or teenagers ourselves, lol) but that the right music gives those emotional experiences whenever we want. And now, I have sent her the article you quoted! Thank you!

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Asha Dornfest's avatar

THANK YOU, EM. I'm glad that explanation resonated with you. I wrote and re-wrote it at least 50 times (if not more), that after years of discomfort talking about online moneymaking. The exercise of writing the ABOUT Page helped me clarify in my own mind why I'm doing this, and more importantly HOW I want to structure this newsletter so I can maximize the chances of creating the publication & community I envision.

"Longing for transcendence." What a beautiful way to express it. Have you read the book "Bittersweet" by Susan Cain? She touches on this exact thought. Related: last weekend I went to my first concert since the pandemic began. It was an outdoor concert, part of a local summer series. The JOY I felt...just hearing the music, being outside on a warm evening with my loved ones, being amongst strangers of all ages who were dancing, smiling, or sitting quietly...it reminded me about the unique power music has over us.

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Em's avatar

"The exercise of writing the ABOUT Page helped me clarify in my own mind why I'm doing this, and more importantly HOW I want to structure this newsletter so I can maximize the chances of creating the publication & community I envision." I really got that as I read it!! The whole page was SUPER-inspiring and I read to the end!!

re music and transcendence, I stole the word after listened to a brilliant interview with Florence [of "...and the Machine"] about the experience of playing live (and not, during the pandemic). In it, she says of live shows, "it's a transcendence of the physical, and I think that's... what people want. They want a second where they're not just a body and a head, that they are all one, all together, and that's what performance does."

It sounds like you got that last weekend! Beautiful description!!

Link if anyone's interested to hear the whole thing: https://www.cbc.ca/listen/live-radio/1-50-q/clip/15913151-florence-welch-album-dance-fever-deadly-medieval

Also PS this is Marsha! It's my secret commenting name for other substacks where I want to say VERY PERSONAL THINGS that I might not want linked to my somewhat distinctive name :)

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Asha Dornfest's avatar

MARSHA. Expect email from me shortly…

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Em's avatar

Hooray! I still owe you a reply though so no pressure to hurry!!

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Kelsey Wharton's avatar

Excited to be here, Asha, and so looking forward to your reflections and writing. I also love getting to peek ahead several years to glimpse what parenting might be like for me "one day." Especially since I still have a toddler and sometimes it feels like the toddler years will last forever (for better or worse :)). Congrats on the new "space" - feels cozy and welcoming.

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Asha Dornfest's avatar

I'm excited you're here, Kelsey! And I totally hear you on loving the sneak peek. Some of my favorite conversations are with friends in their 60s and 70s; I feel the same way.

Re: toddler years lasting forever: I'm writing a post about that right now, that weird thing about time. I don't exactly feel like "the days are long but the years are short," but I also have a very different perspective on time than I did even a couple years ago.

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Sarah K's avatar

The timing of this is perfect! We are launching our oldest into college with two more quickly behind. Feels like many transitions are waiting in the wings. Relationship changes and all of that. But also letting go of the day to day parenting, transitioning them to financial independence, who am I if not a working mom? Just a worker….no thank you! I’m looking forward to filling that life space with soul-nurturing things. Thank you for sharing and starting these conversations!

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Erin Kelly-Park's avatar

This is such perfect timing, as my oldest goes 2,000 miles away for his first year of college at the end of August. The teen years have been my favorite of parenting, and he's such an interesting person -- man, we're going to miss him! But also, he is still sometimes SUCH a kid who makes questionable decisions and is lacking real-life experience (COVID high school, coughcough). Anyway, I am thrilled you're entering this realm, as I feel like very few others write about this phase.

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Asha Dornfest's avatar

Thank you, Erin. The teen years were/are my favorite too. As for writing about this phase, it’s so interesting, because for the first time, I feel like the story is about me rather than my kids. We are all adults, you know? Their stories are theirs to tell, not mine. It will take time to find that groove, but I’m ready to try.

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Mel's avatar

“Let’s see where this takes us.” I can't wait to see where this goes.

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Asha Dornfest's avatar

Thank you, Mel. Your enthusiasm has been a real boost for me.

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Jean Hsu's avatar

I am very excited about this newsletter - always appreciate hearing your stories, insights, and ponderings! <3

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