Parent of Adults is a newsletter about life after the kids grow up.
They grow up! I mean, we knew this would happen, right?
Of course we did. And it’s wonderful. It’s also… weird.
I’m Asha Dornfest, a longtime writer and Gen X parent of two young adults (25 and 21).
My kids adults are well on their way to independence, and I’m thrilled — for them and me. But, so far, “empty nesting” has proven to be way more than a transition.
It’s a whole new world.
I assumed, after some awkward adjustment time, I’d arrive at a new normal. But I’m no longer sure “normal” exists. There’s definitely no “arrival.”
(Come to think of it, this is not unlike how I felt as a new parent.)
This isn’t a problem, exactly.
My kids are ok, I’m ok, and life is good, at times heart-explodingly great. But even as I’m grateful for all this change, I’m bewildered by it. It’s sort of like trying to swim in a whirlpool.
I’d love to compare notes with other parents in or near this strange season. I started Parent of Adults as a way to start the conversation.
What you can expect here
All subscribers receive weekly-ish newsletters. That works out to about 3-4 newsletters per month with breaks for travel and life.
Topics include parenting, relationships, personal (often humbling) growth, travel, supporting our elders, maybe some recipes?, grounded activism, finding (or re-finding) purpose, and links to stuff I love and/or find useful.
I’d love to get a good conversation going in the comments so we can swap stories and keep each other company through our challenges & joys. I’m betting we’ll discover we’re not alone — and we never were.
More about me
I started out in the mid-90s as a writer of tech how-to books (fun fact: I wrote Microsoft FrontPage For Dummies).
By 2005, I was the overwhelmed parent of two little kids. I launched my blog, Parent Hacks, as a way to connect with other parents and swap worked-for-me tips. Parent Hacks grew into a thriving, generous community which I led for over a decade.
The Parent Hacks community inspired Parent Hacks: 134 Genius Shortcuts for Life with Kids (Workman, 2016), a compact, illustrated book full of ingenuity and creative wisdom. It’s also a fabulous gift for a new parent.
I also co-wrote Minimalist Parenting: Enjoy Modern Family Life More By Doing Less (Routledge, 2013) with my friend Christine Koh. This led to our launching the Edit Your Life podcast and co-hosting 250+ episodes from 2016-2021. The pod continues today as a solo show by Christine.
My husband, Rael, and I have lived in Portland, Oregon for over 20 years. We love it here and are also thinking about moving at some point. My dad died unexpectedly in 2020, and my mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s the following year. This prompted her to relocate from her Northern California home of 50 years to a retirement community near us.
Between empty nesting, grief, the pandemic, high school- and college disruptions, health challenges, menopause, supporting my mom, and *looks around at the world* it’s … a lot. At the same time, there’s a lot of beauty, laughter, and growth.
We’re taking it all in one day at a time.
Free vs. paid subscription
Free subscribers get everything (this is a free newsletter). Comments are open to all for one week after publication. Archived posts move behind the paywall after a few weeks.
Paid subscribers get extra access — my way of saying thank you for supporting my work:
Unlimited access to comments
The full, unlocked archive
The ability to reply to any newsletter to send me a private note
🤗 (optional)
Why pay when this newsletter is free?
Parent of Adults is free, but my work is supported by paying subscribers.
“Reader support” means two things to me:
The financial support is straightforward. Paid subscriptions allow me to earn an income while keeping this newsletter ad-free and accessible to everyone.
Paying for a subscription tells me you value my work and want to help me keep doing it. This kind of reciprocal support feels especially meaningful.
You can think of a paid subscription as:
🗳️ Voting with your dollars for more ad- and algorithm-free spaces
✋ Pushing back against the corporatization of the Internet.
✊🏽 Raising a fist for trust and interconnection in a cynical era.
🖌️ Acting on the belief that creative work is worth investing in.
🌱 Supporting the little guy! That’s me! I’m the little guy!
To be crystal-clear: there’s no AI-generated writing here. My brain, heart and slow typing produce this publication. 🤖🚫
There are three options for paid subscription, all with the same benefits.
Monthly: $5/month
Annual: $36/year for a discounted monthly rate
Flat Rate: $50. That’s it. — A single payment for “forever” paid benefits! No auto-renewal charge!
Cancel or revert to a free sub whenever you need to. I’m grateful for your support in any amount.
If you enjoy this newsletter or have found my work helpful over the years, consider supporting it with a paid subscription.
Another great way to support my work is to share it
If paid subscription doesn’t work for you, consider sharing this newsletter with your friends.
Sharing is powerful! Your likes, shares and recommendations bring in the vast majority of new readers. And every positive signal from you gives me a real boost.
Make a habit of clicking Share or Restack when something here resonates.
Referral rewards
I’ve set up a referral program to thank you for your help spreading the word.
Every time you click Share or Restack, your referrals are counted. If new readers you bring in become subscribers (free or paid), you get a free subscription upgrade.
You’ll find Share and Restack buttons in every newsletter. For more on how the referral program works, visit the leaderboard.
Buy a gift subscription for a friend
Support my writing and celebrate a friend at the same time!
A gift subscription to Parent of Adults is a thoughtful way to recognize your friend’s kid’s adulting milestone:
High school graduation
18th or 21st birthday
College drop-off
Getting a job
Moving out, etc.
Choose a term ($5 for one month or $36 for one year), add a personal note and schedule delivery for the date of your choice. 🎁
