Parent of Adults is a newsletter about life after the kids grow up.
They grow up! I mean, we knew this would happen, right?
Of course we did. And it’s wonderful. It’s also… weird.
I’m Asha Dornfest, a longtime writer and Gen X parent of two young adults (25 and 21).
My kids adults are well on their way to independence, and I’m thrilled — for them and me. But, so far, “empty nesting” has proven to be way more than a transition.
It’s a whole new world.
I assumed, after some awkward adjustment time, I’d arrive at a new normal. But I’m no longer sure “normal” exists. There’s definitely no “arrival.”
(Come to think of it, this is not unlike how I felt as a new parent.)
This isn’t a problem, exactly.
My kids are ok, I’m ok, and life is good, at times heart-explodingly great. But even as I’m grateful for all this change, I’m bewildered by it. It’s sort of like trying to swim in a whirlpool.
I’d love to compare notes with other parents in or near this strange season. Parent of Adults is my invitation to do that.
What to expect when you’re expecting…this newsletter
All subscribers receive weekly-ish newsletters. That works out to about 3-4 newsletters per month with breaks for travel and life.
Topics include parenting, relationships, personal (often humbling) growth, travel, supporting aging elders, maybe some recipes?, grounded activism, finding (or re-finding) purpose, and links to stuff I love and/or find useful.
Parent of Adults is more letter than news. My goal is good conversation in the comments about our discoveries, challenges & joys. I’m betting we’ll discover we’re not alone — and we never were.
More about me
I started out in the mid-90s writing tech how-to books (fun fact: I wrote Microsoft FrontPage For Dummies).
In 2005, I was the overwhelmed parent of two little kids. I launched my blog, Parent Hacks, as a way to swap worked-for-me tips with other parents.
Little did I know that my early blogging cohort and I would usher in a whole new era of peer-to-peer parenting advice. Parent Hacks grew into an award-winning blog and a thriving, generous community which I solo-moderated for over a decade.
The Parent Hacks community inspired Parent Hacks: 134 Genius Shortcuts for Life with Kids (Workman, 2016), a compact, illustrated book full of clever ideas and wisdom. Keep it in mind the next time you’re shopping for a baby shower gift.
In 2013, I co-wrote Minimalist Parenting: Enjoy Modern Family Life More By Doing Less (Routledge) with my friend Christine Koh, which led to our launching the Edit Your Life podcast. We co-hosted 250+ episodes from 2016-2021 with the message that small, doable steps lead to big changes. The pod continues today as a solo show by Christine.
My husband, Rael, and I have lived in Portland, Oregon for over 20 years. We love it here and are also thinking about downsizing at some point. My dad died unexpectedly in 2020, weeks before pandemic lockdown, and my mom was diagnosed with Parkinson’s the following year. This led to a move from her California home of 50 years to a retirement community near us.
Between empty nesting, grief, the pandemic, my kids’ high school- and college disruptions, health challenges, menopause, supporting my mom, and *looks around at the world* it’s … a lot.
But/and there’s also a lot of beauty, laughter, and growth.
We’re managing it one day at a time. ⚖️
Free vs. paid subscription
Free subscribers receive all newsletters. Comments are open to everyone for one week after publication. Archived posts move behind the paywall after a few months.
Paid subscribers get extra benefits. It’s how I say thank you for supporting my work.
All paid supporters get:
Unlimited access to comments
The full, unlocked archive
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Why pay when this newsletter is free?
Parent of Adults is free, but my work is supported by paid subscribers.
“Reader support” means two things to me:
The financial support is straightforward. Paid subscriptions provide me with an income while allowing me to keep this newsletter ad-free and accessible to everyone.
A paid subscription says “I value your work and want to help you keep doing it.” Reciprocity feels particularly heartening right now.
Other ways to think about a paid subscription:
✋ You’re pushing back against Big Social Media
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If you enjoy my work or have found it helpful over the years, consider supporting it with a paid subscription. Choose any level, for any length of time.
There are three options for paid subscription, all with the same benefits.
Monthly: $5/month
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Flat Rate: $50 one-time — That’s it! A single payment for “forever” paid benefits! No auto-renewal charge!
Cancel or revert to a free subscription whenever you like.
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If you’d like to support my work but a paid subscription isn’t feasible, help others find this newsletter by clicking Share or Restack (you’ll find buttons at the end of each issue).
Your likes, shares and recommendations bring in the majority of new readers. Just as important: every positive signal from you gives me a real boost.
Referral rewards
To thank you for helping to spread the word, I’ve set up a referral program.
Every time you click Share or Restack, your referrals are counted. If you bring in new subscribers (free or paid), you’ll automatically receive a subscription upgrade.
Visit the leaderboard for details.
Buy a gift subscription for a friend
Support my writing and give your friend a gift at the same time!
A gift subscription to Parent of Adults is a great way to recognize a parenting milestone:
High school graduation
18th or 21st birthday
College drop-off
Getting a new job
Moving out, etc.
Choose a term ($5 for one month or $36 for one year), add a personal note and schedule delivery for the date of your choice. 🎁
