Parent of Adults is a newsletter about life after the kids grow up.

That’s right, they grow up. We’ve been working toward this all along, right? Of course we have. And it’s wonderful.

But it’s also weird.

Both my kids adults live out of state — one’s a college junior and the other’s a college graduate living and working in the Midwest. I love, and I mean love, being the parent of young adults and I knew things would shift after they moved out. But this next iteration of family life has been way more than a shift; it’s a whole new world of parenting, marriage, work, friendships, interests and sense of purpose.

This is both thrilling and unsettling.

The current cultural narrative around empty nesting didn’t prepare me for this massive change.

#understatement

“Empty nesting” is an ending, but it’s also a beginning — vast and nuanced in ways the saccharine stock imagery and wine mom quips don’t even touch.

Why don’t we talk more about this?

I mean, this is it from here on out. After our kids grow up, we’re parents of adults for the rest of our lives!

Let’s talk about this!

Parent of Adults is my invitation to compare notes.

Empty nesting is sure to play out differently for each of us. I started this newsletter as a way to process my own journey, hear yours in the comments, crowdsource input, and keep each other company.

I don’t have answers, but I do have experience — we all do. So let’s share it. Who knows? Maybe we’ll bust a few stereotypes.

My greatest hope is that we’ll recognize ourselves in each others’ messy stories and discover we’re not alone — and we never were.

About me

I’m Asha Dornfest, a writer and parent of two young adults.

I’ve been writing books since the mid-90’s and sharing collective parenting wisdom since the early aughts. I’m the author of several books but I’m best known for Parent Hacks: 134 Genius Shortcuts for Life with Kids, a book inspired by my community blog of 10+ years.

I also co-wrote Minimalist Parenting: Enjoy Modern Family Life More By Doing Less with Christine Koh, which led to our co-hosting 250+ episodes of the Edit Your Life podcast. I retired from podcasting in 2021, but the pod continues to evolve and thrive as a solo show by Christine.

My husband, Rael, and I live in Portland, Oregon. We love it here. My mom recently moved to Portland, too.

Subscriber benefits

Free subscribers: every week or so you’ll receive a new essay/update in your inbox. Comments are open to everyone for a week after publication, and I very much hope to meet you there. Archived issues remain public for six months.

Paid subscribers: you get some extra perks as a token of my thanks — unlimited comment access, the full, unlocked archive, occasional bonus posts, and a generous sprinkling of gratitude. 🙏🏽✨

Why pay?

Because reader support sustains my work.

Your financial support allows me to offer Parent of Adults mostly for free without having to rely on sponsors or ads (I think we can ALL appreciate a break from the ads).

Paid subscription is also a deliberate vote for independent, mutually-supportive communities like this rather than attention-sucking, profit-focused corporate platforms.

If my work is meaningful to you (or has been over the years), if it helps you see your own experience in a new light, if you value the community here, or if you just relish the opportunity to pitch in, consider a paid subscription for a month, a year, or ongoing.

Paid subscriptions are $5/month, discounted to $3/month when paid annually.

I also offer a Lifetime subscription: for a one-time payment of $50 I’ll switch your subscription to “forever comp” which affords you paid supporter benefits for as long as you remain subscribed.

I hope you’ll sign up. The empty nest is only the beginning…and it isn’t empty.

A note about gender & language: I write from my perspective as a cisgender woman (she/her). I welcome readers of all genders and do my best to use gender-inclusive language.